The Rocky Mount Telegram has a funny story about a massage parlor church. It seems that the local ordinances do not impose restrictions on churches, and at least one massage parlor has joined the Universal Life Church and operates as a church in Rocky Mount.
"A Touch With Klass, which is listed as a massage parlor in the phone book, is classified as Universal Life Church with the Nash County tax office. Outside the "church," signs are plastered everywhere, advertising its all-girl staff."
What a great idea, eh? And then of course advertise like crazy to get all the attention of the media. Not-too-bright.
A woman answering the phone said she did not know why A Touch With Klass was listed in the phone book as a massage parlor. She said the business has been trying to get that changed for years. The woman said she did not want to give too much information about A Touch With Klass on the telephone and referred the Telegram to the business’s Web site.
I surmise the reporter visited the website, because it continues:
A Touch With Klass offers private one-on-one rooms, fetishes, body worship, role-playing and body cleansing with a member of its girl staff, the Web site states. A Touch With Klass believes body acceptance is the ideal, and nude recreation is the way, the site says. A woman who called herself Angela came to the door of A Touch With Klass one day last week and said the group is affiliated with the Universal Life Church in California.
Wow. By the way that's a great church. Anyone can join. No racism or bigotry.
"We are not an adult business, we are a church," said Angela, peering out of the door from what appeared to be a dimly-lit room. The church teaches love and acceptance, she said."You have to be at least 18 to be a member of the church," she added.
Sounds like a wonderful church. Love and acceptance, for adults only. Here's my favorite part:
At the entrance, a poster reads, "Jesus, please protect us from your followers" and explains the tenets of the Universal Life Church: the absolute right of freedom of religion and to do anything within the law.
There's more of this sort of thing inthe Massage Parlor News section.
