On another forum there was a discussion about male massage providers with female clients seeking erotic massage. I immediately thought of my friend Craig, whom I know from a massage parlor in Las Vegas, and to whom I often refer women seeking sensual and erotic massage. He is highly praised by straight women who use him as a plaything for their sexual gratification.. or so was my impression. Apparently, from his response, they also use him as an emotional dart board. I asked him what it was like providing sensual massage to women. Here is his response:
"Honestly, it isn't a fair game. The women who pay me are paying for a performance, not a release or touch or massage. She pays me to pretend I am captivated by their body, enjoy touching her, and am completely absorbed in her flesh. I touch her sure, and she gets aroused, and climaxes, and feels refreshed, and some even seek the big bang-of-all-bangs half hour of intercourse which leaves them spent and exhausted.
But if my performance isn't perfect - if I give any inkling of a clue that I am faking it, or am not truly absorbed, or if I provide any hint that I am a pro and she is just a customer, it is a disaster. They are very, very sharp, and even watch for those aspects of the "committment" that is our relationship.
I am there to be a lover-on-demand. Not a slave but like a slave of the heart.
Where it is not fair - well, I am good at what I do because a large part of me truly does love them. I really can adopt a attitude of cherishment towards a woman who submits to me voluntarily. There are very few who turn me off. That is my gift, and what made me a professional to begin with. I get great personal satisfaction from giving and pleasing, and deceiving, I guess.
So many of my clients (and virtually all of my repeat clients) do develop a relationship with me. We become lovers - and I get paid. It has gotten messy emotionally. I have had some "clients" with whom I have shared more pain than pleasure - easily. More tears than joy, more fights and arguments than orgasms. I, too, get confused by this, and by the constant stress of breaking relationships that are intimate and loving. It is part of the job.
At the same time I count on more than my own two hands my intimate, caring, and life-long relationships with women who stated with me as a paid provider of sensual massage.
I am conflicted it that I am much more a player, a scoundrel, or a bastard than a professional. Even though I make it very, very clear going in that this is super emotional and addictive, they choose to take me on. In my world, I define professional as one who assumes as much of the burden as possible (shield her her as much as I can from pain, never sharing my own unilateral emotional pain), keeping it safe and clean at all cost no matter what the passion (knowing ways and tricks to do that is in fact, a special skill!) and breaking away formally or informally when there are signs of loss of control or harmful behavior beyond cheating, avoidance, escapism, and the like.
As the joke goes, you don't pay a prostitute to stay with you. You pay her to leave afterwards.
I have also adopted prostitution as my own escape. Unable to share emotionally for whatever reason, I use prostitutes for my own comfort and release. If I know a woman, I cannot perform with her except professionally. I am simply not aroused. If anonymous, I enjoy tremendously. Occupational hazard, probably. I actually moved to Las Vegas for the comraderie - I have made many friends in the Las Vegas outcall and massage parlor industry.
In re-reading this and because you said it was a massage therapy forum, I am sure i will come across as merely a gigilo or male4female whore, and not a massage therapist. But I have my certificate, deliver real massage, and replace legitimate massage therapists for my clients. I am just that AND a whore, I guess."
So that complex situaton is what my friend endures in his life. Not unlike many of the female emotional wrecks that come to work in my erotic massage parlors. We are a band of misfits, but we have a home in each other's company.
