Massage Parlor - Tales of Erotic Massage

Massage Videos - Erotic Massage Video

Excellent all-soaped-up asian massage parlor site

Erotic Massage Video / Sensual Massage Video / Hidden Massage and Video

I get visitors looking for massage videos, and I want to serve them. The problem is, there is so little good massage video available out there. I have tried before, and sometimes I was able to bring you really hot massage videos, even if the links only worked for a few days.

The problem with massage parlor videos on the web is, they are so fake! But now I found one that is very, very hot. The thing is, you have to have a little "inside information" to find the really hot massage videos. Allow me to explain, after you look at this composite picture I made:

That is clearly a massage table, and this is clearly a massage parlor camera, but it it is presented as something a little different in the top pictures. The first web site sells access to home made massage videos from a guy who massages hot girls. That's ok, but not what we are looking for, right? But then, I found the same guy has a web site with hot full-service action FROM THOSE SAME SESSIONS! Those photos on the bottom are from the full-service site, which is not billed as a massage site at all, yet features the same girl on the same massage table only she's getting it seriously in the massage room.

So skip the first site that is actually promoted as massage, and just go to the second site which is not described as massage but which is inside massage room camera video footage of massage action, between the guy and the hot girls (who obviously look like they are dancers or typical massage parlor girls). Lots of massage sessions, lots of hot girls, and serious action.

Nice find? You bet. Thank me later (!). As I find more real massage videos I'll try and post them with access information. Of course, if you know of any, please share via the comments.(OOps... here's another one all about massage).

Massage Relief - Continued from Cuntlet.com

Note from Missy: This article was posted to Cuntlet.com. We are already into the story, when we get to this part:

I am looking down the hole in the massage table, listening to the noises of the massage parlor. I rarely hear anything more than conversations among the staff, noises of walking and doors closing, or the slapping of hands on flesh as someone gets their bodywork. Only once, in a regular massage parlor, did I hear "sounds of sensuality" from the room next to mine. Once, in 14 years.

I still remember it well, and it still gives me thrills. Little girl whimper sounds from a little Korean girl getting her button pushed by some lucky customer. Maybe it wasn't real.. maybe she was an amazing actress, but you will never sell me on that idea. I heard it, and I know it was the realest audible sensual response I have ever witnessed either through a wall or in person, in my lifetime. She was getting off and letting go and IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. I like to tell myself that the women I have touched have felt that way, too, and that I simply was never in a position to listen to my own activities from the room next door, but that's my fantasy...

Continue reading this post at www.Cuntlet.com. The story is called "Laying Down for some Massage Relief"

I just Wanted to Write about my Asian Massage Girlfriends

I just wanted to write today, to any one who might be listening.

My friends these days are asian massage parlor workers.I'm half asian, so I am a novelty to them. I look like them, but don't understand them and I don't act the way they expect me to act. Since they are here in a foreign land, after they have been here a month or so I am like a missing link to them. They want to learn from me, and they see me as what they might become if they learn to understand this American culture. I even had one late bloomer 19 year old Chinese girl grab my under wear and look at my pussy today. She wanted to see what mine looked like, as if she expected it to be different from hers. Whatever.

One very big barrier to them becoming me has always been obvious, but today we put it into words. One of the girls has been having sex with an American customer on a regular basis for a few weeks now. We all know it's going on. Harvey's smitten with her, and he visits a few times per week. He acts like a little boy in love, even though it's obvious he only allows those feelings to exist inside our little massage parlor. I'm sure he has a wife and grown kids in his "real life". But once Harvey enters through our pearly gates, he's hungry for some Chinese pussy named Sarah, and Sarah is happy to receive his attention.

What Sarah put into words today is WHY she is so happy to have him interested in her. As she puts it, she's no good. Shes "not good... no good". The Chinese she uses means dirty, or ugly, or maybe filthy or garbage. She views herself as unwanted trash, and that is why she likes the massage parlor world. In here, she is accepted as a person. Outside, as she sees herself reflected in the eyes of others, she is worthless and dirty. Now she has a man who looks normal and respectable, interested in kissing her. That's right, because he looks like a real respectable person, and he is willing to put his mouth on her, and his thing inside her, she feels cleaner. She feels "as good as other girl". We also learned today that this customer has been riding her bareback since the third visit to see her. That means he wants sex with no condom, which she delivers. She revealed that his interest in no-condom sex with her proves that she is clean. He wanted her, and he chooses her, and he isn't afraid that she is dirty and ugly and garbage.

Now I know this guy is a stupid dickhead and the two of them have probably got the filthiest private parts in the state, but think about how she really feels. Her world has so beaten her down that she is shit, so when a guy who claims to be "regular" is willing to take a risk on her, that makes her feel valued. What a sick situation. We talked about it today. The big difference between US (meaning you and me... people living in this North American society) and them (the Asian whores coming to work here after having worked as whores in Asia) is that WE don't know our place in society. We are scum.. you and me, because we are filthy whores. You buy sex from whores, and I sell my body for money to trash like you. That makes us both dirt. The rest of the world knows this. They treat their garbage like garbage. In Korea, whores are whores and not worthy or recognition by society except as dirty whores. But here, we treat people like they are equal. An ex-whore can get a job and people will actually help her try and get along. Not so in Korea or China, where a whore is a whore for life and even a child of a whore has no choice but be a whore.

In our society I'm a filthy whore but I dress up well. When I go out into the world you don't know I am anything other than the beautiful International co-ed I look like. And neither do I. I know I am just as good as you and everybody else. In fact, because I am articulate and Asian, you people think I'm smarter than I really am. If a woman dared to question me on the street, or suggest I was a whore, I'd chew her out and let her know she had no place talking trash to me like that. My asian friends laugh at that idea. That I, a massage parlor whore, would go to town and stand up for myself - that's unimaginable to them.

Funny that the source of my confidence is my experience. I actually know for fact how much of a shithead everyone out there really is. I know that the pious bitch housewife who storms into the massage parlor looking for the hussy who stole her husband is actually a dumbitch who sucked ten or 20 guys in the back seat of cars before she discovered the one she would marry. I know she took it in the ass from 3 or 4 of those, hoping to give them what they can't easily get, in order to hold on to one of them as a husband. I know the local minister visits with his bag of leather toys once a month, and I know the local police chief has a foot fetish. He likes the smell of man juice on leather... he gets off on it. When he's not busting massage girls for offering hand job happy endings, he's paying girls to let him ejaculate into their shoes so he can lick them clean.

These asian massage girls apparently believe that the mayor is an honest and dedicated public servant. They apparently believe that the former mayor, in the news because he is married 51 years to one woman, never "strayed". They don't know about the 32 years of outcall provided by my former boss, which included a few years of personal service to the mighty mayor, who happened to like being tied up. What these girls are is ignorant, more than any thing else.

After a year or so working in the massage parlor they may have gained some self confidence, from learning how the world really is under those carefully coordinated outer clothes. They will have gained insight into society by sticking needles through the foreskin of the town plumber (he brings his own tools and is happy to instruct on sterile procedures), by repeatedly face-slapping the local attorney until he creams his pants (while wearing an apron like his mommy used to wear), or by near smothering the local priest with a pussy-over-nose and mouth head squeezing thigh-lock until he either passes out or comes (he's done both, many times, and I am still unable to predict which way it will go on any given day. One time we took bets. I lost).

But by the time my ignorant asian sisters learn about this crunk society we live in, and regain their self respect (go figure that out), they'll probably be sick with disease and worn out from the physical abuse. Because assholes like Harvey are as stupid as they are. Harvey thinks that because she is only his dream girl inside the massage parlor, any sexual diseases he picks up or drops off will only exist inside the massage parlor. Boy will his world be rocked some day. And hers.

So I just wanted to write. Let me know you're reading by leaving a comment. It's the least you can do to help me believe anyone is reading. And you guys please do me a favor. The next time you deposit bodily fluids inside the private room of your favorite massage parlor, leave an extra $50 in your tip. Consider it a bonus for assuming you're actually a decent person, and for cleaning up your emissions without making a federal case of it. I bet you'll feel better for having done something nice, for someone who could use it.

FBSM - Full Body Sensual Massage

A customer recently told me he has become addicted to "FBSM" or "full body sensual massage". Wow.. I never really knew about that acronym. I was surprised, because hell, I'm in this business! I guess I need to get out more!

A certified massage therapist is Pennsylvania defines FBSM as:

As a certified massage therapist and talented sensual artist, I will create a blissful and stimulating escape for you. Feel your skin tingle under the slightest touch of my knowing fingertips. I combine swedish, lomi lomi, and tantric massage techniques to ensure a truly sublime experience. Feel your stressful day melt away in my strong capable hands.

The Urban Dictionary even has an entry for FBSM:

A body rub with oils, paying close attention to particular areas of the body, for maximum stress relief.

I am going to have to go explore this as a customer of FBSM... are there FBSM providers advertising services for women? I shall find out...

more Massage Parlor Images

More massage parlor pictures from the web...do these images really define the massage parlor?

 

   

 

Sex through Panties - A Personal Story

She was a massage parlor girl and I knew it, but I believed her when she assured me she didn't have sex with customers. Then one day, on an unannounced visit to her massage parlor, I discovered evidence of what I now know to be "panty sex". It was one of the darker moments of my life, and it has taken me years to reach a point where I can tell the story of how I discovered my massage parlor girl had an unusual definition for "sex".

That's the email I got from George (his real name) who a few years ago lived in New Jersey and frequented a well-known New Jersey massage parlor (now long closed). I met George in Chicago, in a massage parlor. He wanted panty sex, which I had never heard of at that time. I was working in an asian massage parlor in Chicago, which is very rare, and I was a white girl, which to me was really strange but to George was "typical - can't get good asian pussy in Chicago massage parlors" or so he said.

So George introduced me to a popular fetish among Internet porn lovers - "panty sex".  Panty sex is sexual intercourse while wearing panties. The girl wears her panties and the guy pulls them aside and does the deed anyway. Some guys like the panties tight, while some guys pull them practically off. Some like the feeling of the friction; others dream of no-permission sexual activities, and still others like the visual imagery, especially when they pull out and drop their load upon the fabric of the panty. In my limited experience with the panty sex fetish, guys like black lace (for the ocntrast of their manly emissions when they pull out and deposit them) and plain off-white cotton (which becomes shear when wet). Whatever.. it's a fetish, right?

That long ago day when George told me of his fetish for panty sex, he said he discovered it himself the hard way - by discovering his girlfriend had been doing it for customers. THAT was so intriguing to me, I insisted he write me the story. He never did... until now. I got this email today. I will post part of it now, and then I need to edit some more and post the rest. See my note at the end for details of that.

We always had an understanding that she would not do actual sex with customers, although it was pretty clear to me that she did handjobs and wanted to be free to do that. She was very much against oral sex with men, except under the cleanest conditions, so I didn't worry about that although I knew there were a free regular customers that could have gottenthat from her wihtout too much trouble. When you date a massage parlor girl you accept some aspects of it. One way to accept her is to set limits, and one limit was no sex (meaning intercourse). We had agreed, and according to her, it wasn't much of a special request because, according to her demeanor, that wasn't much of a sacrifice on her part. Or so I thought.

Another unstated agreement was that good boyfriends of massage parlor girls do not show up unexpectedly at the place of business. I know... flags go up when you think of that rule combined with the "no sex" rule, but like I said, you already make compromises when you acept that your girlfriend is someone elses for-hire girlfriend. Anyway, I followed that rule, mostly. One day I stopped by unannounced, coming in through the back door.

It was quiet, the room doors were all closed, but no one was in the waiting area up front. I slipped into the kitchen area and had a look around. I admit I like the "thrill" of being in a bordello... knowing illicit stuff was going on all around me. I would often press my ear against the wall and listen to the little sex sounds the girls made when they were "trying to be quiet" whle being pounded. Many times I heard the swish-swish-swish of the heavy lotioned handjob. It all turned me on in a way. I also liked to check out the laundry pile and notice the little washcloths soaked in semen. I know.. gross, but actually, picking it up by a corner and holding it up to the light, it was obvious which ones had received an ejeculation, vs. lotion or hand washing or back washingor whatever. Again... just a turn on to know the girls were drawing out the equivalent of quarts of community semen every day, and a little bit of a challenge to me to see if my little honey was responsible for any of that. More than once I had watched her toss her client rags into that bin, and each time I innocently memorized exactly which rag was her so i could check it later when she wasn't around. I never found any with forensic evidence on it. Odd, yes, but maybe... just maybe she actually didn't release her customers. Whatever. I checked and she probably knew that anyway.

But on this day I saw something new on the laundry pile. On top, not rolled up, was a pair of her panties. I knew them... they were really hers, not stage clothes or costume panties most of the massage girls wore. These were thereal cottonpanties I had removed from her body on many occasions.  Bingo, I thought. I would snatch me a pair of her dirty undies and she would never know. So I picked them up. Plain as day, front and center, right over the fabric that would normally cover her spoft white underbelly just north of her snatch, was a large round wet spot.

Now there is no reason that this area would be wet in a circle like that. It wa sfar from where her moistness would appear on dirty panties. It was round and wet, while the rest of the panty was fresh and clean. The spot was almost shear from being wet. I couldn't stop myself, so I sniffed it. WOW. Fresh semen soaked.

Now I can't explain this in any way. They were hers. They were in the laundry at the massage parlor. They were wet with fresh semen, in one spot on her underbelly. I put them back into the pile.

When she finished her customer and came out, she was surprised but not upset to see me. She had her post-customer white washcloth rag with her, which she tossed it onto the laundry pile. As she did that, I noticed that she noticed the panties, and she moved them down the pile s if she was cleaning up the pile. As usual I memorized the location of that rag. She had noticed her panties...and pushed them down the pile. That was all I needed to see. She knew they were hers. She knew they were "evidence". She wanted them out of sight. What she didn't know was that I could still smell the fresh semen on them, lingering in my nose. As she left the room to escort her customer out the door, I checked the rag and it was clean. I took the panties and placed them into my coat pocket. I alked out the door, telling the cleaning lady smoking outside to tell her I went for smokes and wouldbe right back. I hurried to my car....

Note to readers: you can encourage me to edit and post the rest of this story by leaving a commnet telling me how much you would like that. THANKS!

Lingam and Yoni Massage

Lingam Massage for Men

Lingam massage is massage of the private parts for stimulation. Is it a hand job? Practitioner sof "tantra" will say a lot about lingam massage. Some customers of mine say that lingam massage is a really slow, build up hand job.

Yoni Massage for Women

I foudn this one amusing. The Yoni is the vagina. So this is vagina massage, right? Well, it is a hand job for women, but done slowly with a build up, paying attention to the intent  of building up through stimulation towards a releasing climax. Call it a good friggin?

Sensual massage and Happy Endings for Women

I often get asked about erotic massage for women and I definitely know how to deliver massage for the woman seeking a happy ending. But unlike many of my massage girl peers, I am not lesbian. I simply know how to listen with my hands.

But if you're into the erotica scene and you are a woman into massage, check out this video:

*** they deleted the video.

Comments welcome, below.

More personal webcams and stuff for my readers

Update: I created a web cam site that limits your choices to only those girls with my features... blonde, white, etc. That shoul dmake it easier for your hunt lol! See missy.streamray.com

I get a ton of emails from you guys asking how you can meet the "real" girls behind the massage girls in the massage parlors. Since I talk so openly about real life of a massage girl and relationships, I suppose it makes sense that you ask. Yes I have dated customers. Yes I have life long friends who are frequent massage hobbiests. Yes I know plenty of massage girls, and we have all been intimate with guys we originally met in massage parlors.

I have already referred many of you to the seemingly odd but highly effective non-verbal communications course and the Seduction Science series. You should also check out the wildly popular Mystery Method (from the TV show... click here). I have also frequently told you when I am my friends are active on web cam sites and adult friend finder sites. We all have profiles, but except for Adult Friend Finder I don't spend much time in those (I love Adult Friend Finder). My best friend forever tried every korean dating site out there and she, too loves the adult friend one. She has a profile that gets tons of emails, but only answers white guys. She considers the guys she meets from there as "pass by men". I didn't ask what that meant, but I think it's pretty clear.

Anyway I was just notified that one of my American massage girlfriends from New Jersey hooked up with one of you customer guys and launched a personal web site on one of those "make money doing online porn" systems. The deal is not very good for her, as usual, but she thinks it has promise so I didn't want to be negative. Let her discover for herself how all of the profits from that site will go to the guys running it and not her. But anyway at least she's trying something new, and with the contacts and experience of her first foray online she may find success later, right? Here are links to a set of American girls going into that program. Going as "Luna", and one is going by "Marie". Another is "Tanya". I am pretty sure Lisa is "Jenny" and this is "Sue". You may recognize them from your own massage parlor experiences, so maybe you'll get a kick out of that. You saw her for erotic massage, and now she's baring it all online! What more could you ask for? Let me know if it's good for you, okay? I'll pass it along.

Honest, I won't tell you directly where my cam is hosted, but it is out there hah hah. I have never told anyone that it is me, or connected it in any way with my massage parlor work or my blogs. I guess that's part of the treasure hunt, eh? It has been a ton of fun for me. I signed on after I witnessed my friend Angie over at Cams.com, and I tried that service but then found one that is better for me. I am only on it Thursday nights, but I do it religiously. I am totally a "performer" on Thursday nights! Could I link to it from here? Not yet, lol. That would be too good a clue! It's not as busy as Cams.com so I'm not comfortable pointing to it yet... it would be too easy to find me! I have done some cameo apearances at Angie's cam room by the way. Those are always fun. She is way more lesbo than I am, but the chat goes crazy when I show up in her room. She gets paid a little if you log in, but the  real money is only when a customer goes private with a credit card. So if you are feeling generous, do some logging in for the girls you watch at least, and consider going private for a bit with the ones you appreciate. They get $40 and sometimes more if you stay for a show, and that really does help them out. Small price to pay for personal attention, no? Cams.com and the other ones I link to are reputable and don't scam like some of the others "allegedly" do. Let me know if you have good/bad experiences to share.

I'm going to be in Sarasota Florida next week for the holidays, and I have a chance to work in a massage parlor in Tampa Florida if I want. Should I? Let me know and if you know the places down there, clue me in on what is good quality vs. scammy. I have some choices, but I'd like to be a little more knowledgable before I open my mouth about it!

I just figured out a way to link directly to specific profiles in Friend Finder. Hah! So here is a profile set that should include my bff Angie in it.. maybe you can tell! LOL I don't want to get into trouble, so I left it across all states but it's still fun cause she's so obvious!

She doesn't know what age I put on my profile, so she can't do this back to me LOL!

Seattle Asian Massage

In Seattle, there are many massage parlors and independent massage providers advertising. Most of these advertisments are outdated, with dead phone numbers. Many are just escort services, interested more in sex than massage. Sex trafficking is a big issue these days, so the syndicated asian massage places are largely closed, arrested, or otherwise gone.  If you do find one, the prices are very high and the services are very hard core.

For Chinese massage, like Tui Na and shiatsu, you have to wait in line at a clinic or suffer the challenges of driving around from closed "acupressure" place to closed "spa". Sometimes you find a genuine chinese or oriental massage in Seattle, such as this one described by a reviewer:

Oriental...a relaxing alternative to today's trendy spas, today announced that they have expanded their ... facilities in Kirkland.. nine new private rooms. ... Sauna Faculties...body and skin care services including Qigong Tuina massage, Reflexology, anti-aging facials, Chinese body scrubs, and herbal body wraps, hot stone massages, exotic hydrobaths, facials and more. ...mission is to provide Spa services that nurture and relax the body and soul, and bring the body into balance using the eight principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine -- Yin or Yang, Superficial or Internal, Cold or Hot, and Deficient or Replete. Some of services they offer, including Qigong Tuina massage, Reflexology, and cupping therapy, have been used extensively in China for over 2,000 years and date back to at least as early as the Shang dynasty, around 1700 BC.

They offer Tuina massage:

Qigong Tuina massage: A hands-on body massage using acupressure, Tuina (pronounced 'twee-nah') is an integral part of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) and is taught in TCM schools as part of formal training in Oriental medicine. This massage works holistically and is designed to work on the body's energy channels and point with a wide variety of techniques. Tuina helps to balance up the Qi energy, the vital substances, and the internal organs on which the health of a person's body and mind depend on. It releases tension, increases circulation, reduces pain, promotes blood circulation and removes blood stasis. It leaves people with a deep sense of physical and mental relaxation, revitalization and well-being.

and reflexology:

Reflexology: Dating from C. 3000 BC, reflexology is based in the belief that the image of the entire body, including internal organs, is represented on the surface of the foot. Applying pressure to pressure points only on the feet, Reflexology massages help to stimulate the flow of energy, thus helping to relieve pain or blockages throughout the entire body. Reflexology is also used to ease stress and promote relaxation and is particularly helpful in treating headaches, constipation, and stress-induced disorders.

but they also offer more American fluff spa treatments like this one:

Herbal Body Wraps: These body treatments which include herbal baths, sea-salt scrubs infused with herbs and essential oils, and body wraps, are designed to open up the pores, rejuvenate the body and leave the skin glowing and silky smooth.

I suppose they need to take people's money if the people want to spend it.

Seattle area massage resources: we started the seattle massage listing, which is now updated here. Escort and some massage reviews are on redBook and eroticspice, although they are scary (mostly outdated warnings of rip-offs). Seattle backpage has massage classifieds. Be sure to look at RedBook for massage reviews. Also check out Seattle Nighborhoods. An outdated article on Chinese massage parlors still comes up in Google. Chinese massage therapy is described on this page, all about Tuina and such.

A Taste of Hillary?

All I can say is... youmust be kidding!

How to give a hand job

I came across this funny video of "how to give a hand job". With all the free porn available on the web, it seems odd that we need models with plastic toys to show us how to give a happy ending. Click on the play control to play it. Don't bother following the URL to a website, it's old and there's nothing good.

 

Sensual Massage for Women

I came across this post on a local directory forum. A woman was describing her first sensual massage experience with a massage therapist:

A bit more then a week ago a friend told me about her Massage Therapist and his amazing unconventional massages. He does a combo of Swedish and Tantric massage giving a thurough but tantalizing massage. She perked my curiousity and I booked a session. She was right he was AMAZING! The massage was the best ever (and I get massages at least twice a week) He was polite and professional he worked very deep but without hurting me ( I hate a fluffy massage almost as much as I hate going ouch and being told that its good for me) his energy was incredible and throughout the session he alternated from extremly light almost tickling to extremly deep (but not jabbing or painful) and always keeping the touch sensual and semi erotic. I never knew my whole body was an erogonous zone. Towards the end I couldnt take it anymore and I put his hand were I really wanted it....
When I stopped shaking I relized he was hugging me all tender and understanding.
All in all it was a extremely powerful emotional and sensual experience, that left me floating for a week. The reason I am asking if I am insane is I have already booked my next massage.

I know of a few incall massage shops in Manhattan that cater to working girls and independent female executives. I've  been there with friends but I am always wierded  out by the dorky guys. Either they are trying to hard to be suave and sohpisticated or they are too jocky for me. For me it's like a bad comedy... I get all embarassed for the guy. Far from sensual. But, the girls like it. They get off, and they love that.

I just put this one out for the ladies, so they know it's not just the men getting hand jobs.

Cuntlet

You may like to read Cuntlet.com, a personal blog by a massage parlor girl.

Masaje orgasmico, Masajes eróticos

Wow. What a great erotic massage video. I'll post a link for the loytal readers, but then I'll take it down.

If you watch it, post a comment here. Let's tell everyone what we think about this, eh?

http://yuvutu.com/index.php?name=Video&op=view&video_id=97566

Condoms and Plastic Wrap

There's a new post in Massage News about condoms in masage parlors. Check it out.

Patronizing Working Women: A Human Trait

So there's a lady in the newspaper pimping dogs. Well-off wanna be dog owners who don't have time or energy for actual responsible dog ownership pay her an annual fee ($99), a monthly fee ($49.95) and a per-day usage fee ($39.95). For their money, they get to romp with a dog. The dog treats them like they were King. When they are done romping with the dog, they return it. No fuss, no muss. As we say in the whoring business, you don't pay a prostitute to come see you, you pay her to leave when the time is up. How convenient.

How is this not pimping dogs? And how is the support people show for this "new concept" not an acknowledgement that humans value the option of paying to enjoy select aspects of a relationship, for a limited time, free of any obligations beyond the scheduled appointment? This brings new meaning to the "Girl Friend Experience" (GFE), which is one of the more expensive types of female escorts. If you pay enough to get a GFE, she treats you not like a client, but like she actually is a dream girlfriend. Wow. Kind of like paying to have someone bring over a beautiful, groomed and happy pedigree, just for the day, so you can take it to the park and play frisbee and roll around on the grass and feel all wonderful because you have this great dog, who's a great friend, non-judgemental and all unconditionally loving and such. What's next, puppy whores? I'm sure there are many escort agencies called some variation of "kitty" or "kittens". How far are we from hustling real kittens?

Think about this, folks. That's a $99 membership fee, $50 per month access fee, and $39.99 per day usage fee. Once a week romps with the puppy will cost you $2700 per year. Someone else pays the vet bills, buys the food and flea collars. And that assumes the dog has been properly cared-for. Does anyone know if that's the case? Should be call in the Feds and label this Dog Trafficking? What if you rent an Asian Sharpei? Is that Asian Trafficking?

I bet the doggie Johns don't even know if the dog has actually been tested (for fleas). Do they even care? If they are like most Johns, they won't ask and will just romp around with the dog, flea-irresponsible. What if they go home later and bring the fleas into their own house? Yuck, right? What if - god forbid - a dogless father rents out a gorgeous Doberman for the day, unknown to anyone in his family, and enjoys his secret mans-best-friend during afternoons while he was supposed to be out golfing or shopping for power tools? And if someone finds out? "Hey Marge, I saw Tom over at the park yesterday with a beautiful brown bitch. He was having a ball. Did you buy him that?"

Funny how humans can be, right? I really don't want the animal rights people to go ape over this and shut down another harmeless venture, but seriously, how is this not pimping, and why is this ok and escorting not ok? And don't give me that STD crap... the vast majority of STDs are passed around by non-working men and women, and the working ones are some of the most STD aware and pro-condom people in the world.

Here's an excerpt form the newspaper article, with surprisingly little Missy word replacement. I changed "dog" to "prostitute", "caretaker" to "pimp", "veterinary" to "medical", "four-legged" to "two-legged", "hounds" and "terriers" to "women", and "kennel" to "shelter", with a wee but more artistic license:

[rent-a-pat] is currently available in Los Angeles and San Francisco.... [the owner is] also hoping to franchise the concept so the prostitutes will have housing options other than shelters when not in use. For San Francisco, she's hired a pimp who plans to keep the prostitutes at her house when they aren't on loan to members.

Prostitute lovers who enroll in [rent-a-pet] get to spend time with a two-legged companion from [her] 10 prostitute crew of Afghan, Labrador, and Boston women. The membership costs cover the expense of training the prostitutes, boarding them at a cage-free shelter, home or officer delivery, collar-sized global positioning devices, medical bills and liability insurance. It also pays for the "care kits" - comprised of leashes (condoms?), bowls (makeup?), beds and pre-measured food (Fredericks of Hollywood?)- that accompany each woman on her visits. Charter member XXX said he was thinking about getting a wife when a matchmaker he consulted suggested part time ownership. At first, he had reservations. He never doubted there was room for a woman in his heart. The issue was his life, which included a small, two bedroom apartment and a full-time schedule of college classes in San Diego. I was thinking, "How is a woman going to bounce from house to house and be OK with that", he said. "I didn't want a whore that would come into my place and misbehave". His misgivings were allayed after he spoke with XXXX, who explained that only women with social temperaments were picked for the program, and that each would ideally be shared by no more than two or three owner-members. Since signing up, XXX said he has treid out several women, but fell in love with a black escort named "jackpot", who has become a treasured part of his social network. They spend an average of one day each weekend together. She sleeps at his apartment, and he takes her on hikes, to the beach, and to parks frequented by other prostitute owners. The money spent on his membership has been well worth it, he said.

Honestly, after reading it, don't you just ant to sign yourself on for a membership?

Missing Mom was Massage Erotic Dancer Acupuncturist in Denver

A hot news story in Denver Colorado involves Paige Birgfeld, a twice-divorced mother of three young kids and an active mom in the community. She's now gone missing, after having set up a meeting with a male client in her private massage office. Her car was found burning in an industrial area at the end of June.

According to new reports, she was extremely active and that activity included erotic dancing and escorting out of an unlicensed acupuncture business in Grand Junction, Colorado. Her two ex-husbands were still in the picture, but niether has been called a "person of interest". They haven't been ruled out, though either.

What is clear is that Ms. Birgfeld was a helper and a doer, much like many of us working women. She lived in a million dollar home, and had been married to big lifestyle husbands, but as a single mom she worked constantly, kept a smiling face, and was very supportive in all ways, except perhaps of herself.

That is an issue with many of us. We care about people, we want to help people, and we work hard to help people. That is why you need to tip your massage parlor worker, by the way. I'm just sayin'.

Ayway the report in the Arizona Central notes this:

"Paige has that need to give and help out others," said XXX, a close friend who lived at Birgfeld's for a short time while she and her husband were house-hunting."

Yup. And it seems, like many of us givers, she got abused:

When [ex-husband] finances were failing in 2004, there are indications Birgfeld began using her exotic-dancer skills to make money. An arrest affidavit relates that [ex-husband] was arrested on domestic-violence charges after he slapped and shoved Birgfeld in 2005. The impetus for the altercation was finding underwear in her car that he told the court led him to believe she was performing topless massages "at the least."

She was working to support her and her kid's lifestyle while hubby's financial empire was a crashin', it seems:

"Public speculation initially focused on [ex-husband] because he is infamous for donating millions of dollars' worth of firetrucks and other equipment to departments around the state. Much of the equipment was not paid for...[ex-husband] also lost more than $1 million for a fire-district board he served on. He invested the district's money with the same New York investor who helped [ex-husband] lose his inherited fortune...[ex-husband] and Birgfeld moved to Grand Junction in the late 1990s and bought a home where they lived a flashy lifestyle that included lavish parties and nine cars."

Sounds so familiar.

Massage Tips: Guide for Tipping in a Massage Parlor

I have been asked if I would write about tipping in massage parlors. That is a good topic. A tip is a gratuity; and  many massage girls work mostly for tips. Sometimes (more common in syndicated korean and Russian massage parlors) the girls have to even share their tips with management.

Guidelines for massage parlor tipping

Always tip your massuese. There is no situation where a massage is delivered and the masseuse does not deserve a tip. If someone touches your bare body without being judgemental and in an effort to help you, they deserve a tip. If the treatment was bad, you should not  have allowed the massage to be performed. If you did, then it doesn't matter if it was bad, someone tried and that trying meant tolerating your naked body, touching you, and tolerating you. Tip her.

How much to tip a massuese

Always tip a minimum of $10 per massage session, or $10 per half hour of massage, whichever comes first. That means if you get a 30 minute massage session, always tip at least $10. if you get a one hour massage session, at least tip $20. No excuses, and here's why. Someone has placed their hands upon your bare skin, willingly, and in an effort to please you. That, and that alone, is worth $10. That $10 buys a lunch for the masseuse.

How to tip at a Massage parlor

Cash. That's right, paper money. Have it ready before you go in, because you already know what you want and how much you are willing to pay. allow me to explain.

A typical massage will cost you between $35 and $70 for the session. So have 4 twenties in your pocket to cover that. Simple, right? I can't tell you how many guys go into massage and end up with no money or the wrong kind of money.. like $13 in bills and a bunch of credit cards. If the situation is questionable so you choose a 30 minute session, and it's $40, you're covered (peel off two twenties to pay the fee). If it turned out to be great so you extended it to a full hour, no problem. Hand over your 4 twenties and get some change.

It's real easy guys, stick 4 twenties into your pocket before you go in, and limit yourself to an hour or less so you know you're covered.

So what about the tip? That's the other pocket. Stick a twenty into the other pocket before you go in. It's there for you to take out and hand over as a massage tip fo rthe typical session. No messing with the change from the session fee... just a simple, clean twnety in your pocket all by itself.

Massage Parlor Tips for "extras"

Now this is were it gets "interesting". How much to tip for extra service at a massage parlor, and how to give a tip for extras at a massage parlor? I'll go into that topic in detail inmy next post. If you have ideas to share, please do so in the comments and I will consider them for that post "massage parlors tipping: how to tip for extras at a massage parlor"

Tantra Tantric Sex and the Kama Sutra

I'm exploring the Kama Sutra and tantric sex in my personal life. It's one of the ways to enjoy sexual relations with a personal lover, when you are a whore. I mean, I can't just do with him what I do for money, because it gets all crazy emotional. But if I explore tantra (tantric sex), something I have never done and will never do with a paying erotic massage customer, that's personal, right? I'd never try and integrate sensual massage for money with tantric, psychological bonding.

The kama sutra is the book that brings us information on tantric sex. I've gotten a copy for myself, and a video on tantra. So far, very interesting.

How about you? Any experience with real kama sutra tantric stuff?

Tantra, Tantric practice, and the Kama Sutra

Tantra and tantric are terms sometimes associated with erotic massage. The kama sutra is the famous book about sex, and includes describes of tantra, and tantric practices.

I'm exploring this in my life right now. What about you?

Gregg Watson CBS 42 Austin Massage Parlor Hero

Another winner in the humanitarian and character department is Gregg Watson of CBS 42 in Austin Texas.

According to Gregg Watson's studious investigations, there are massage parlors in Austn Texas offering extras for tips. Oh My God would you believe it?

Of course we have Gregg Watson to work hard for us, going undercover to root out this criminal activity with hidden cameras and microphones, so he can blast it over the air during prime time, laced with commercials.  What a humanitarian! Oh, and just to make sure everyone knows about this so no one gets hurt by these evil massage parlor hand job givers, he's going back to confront them on camera again... but won't let us see that unless we tune in again on another evening's prime time (laced with another evening's set of commercial messages).

Here's a message for Gregg Watson. Gregg dear, I am so sorry you actually feel you need to pander to the public's secret desire for salacious content masquerading as legitimate news. I am so sorry you actually went to far as you did, violating people's privacy with hidden cameras and microphones just to exploit them. I know it must  be hard for you to go so deep into denial that you can actually broadcast the pictures and audio of those working women. I know that you, as a black man, probably understand exploitation, so I am sure it was actually painful for you to pretend to be amazed that, if you went along with the intimations that there might be extra cash if there were extra services, some of those women would offer sexual services for the cash. I feel for your pain.

And I hope someday when you grow up you won't be too embarassed by your past. I mean, after all, if I reached 45 years old and the eventual humanitarian enlightenment that we all eventually reach, where we understand more than our juvenile social mores allow, I'd be horribly embarassed to know I had done what you've done. I'd hate to be you, my man. It would hurt me to know I was ever such a loser.

Austin texas massage parlors on 6th street. In the adult entertainment district. Shame shame shame. Give me a break. Grab your sword children, we're off to fight wars in the name of commercialism and religion. That's ok. But if some loser can catch you on hidden camera in a private room offering to touch a little extra skin for forty bucks, oh my oh my oh my oh my get the TV NEWS CREW.

Here's what I suspect may happen someday, Mr. Gregg. You will be pressed. You will suffer pain and stress. Perhaps a work problem. Perhaps economic troubles, debt or bills you can't pay. Or perhaps cancer in your family, a bitter unexpected divorce, or an abusive mentally unstable individual. Perhaps the birth of a child with a broken chromosome or the growth of a teenager bent on rebellion beyond your understanding. Perhaps a random act of violence delivered upon you or your loved ones, when you are already vulnerable from something else like an illness or natural disaster. However you get there, you will one day be vulnerable, Mr. Gregg Watson. I can guarantee it. And at that moment when you have no where to turn you will learn that not all is hunky dory in this world, that not all is easy. That one day when you decide you simply have no choice but to cut a corner and cheat a little to survive or feed your family, I hope you get caught.

That's right. I hope you get nailed by some dumb ass opportunistic dreamer with a hidden camera and microphone, anxious to plaster your plight around the world for all to point at, ridicule, taunt and spit upon. If you are lucky... and I mean if, that jerk will have enough commercials lined up that he can cash in on his exploitation of you without actually extractng that cash from you personally. Because the only thing worse than a dumb ass idiot like you is one who thinks he can also extort you with his hidden videos.

See you in hell Mr. Gregg. See you in hell.

Alcoholism and Prostitution

Well here I am and here is my bottle and we are keeping each other company. It's late... or early? I don't think Iever blogged about my bottles and me, so maybe this is a first. Forgive the typos :-)

Alcohol and whoring go together like alcohol and heavy machinery. Not as uncommon as we like to think, and capable of causing big disasters. Ever trade sex for booze? You will eventually if you've traded sex for other things.

I learned a long time ago not to take a bottle from a customer. It just leads to free service. Why trade $150 of services for a $20 bottle of wine you have to share with someone else anyway? So take the bottle, and then trade services for money (let him think he got a discount if you must). Then open that bottle with a different customer. It's more fun, and safer, cause the lucky customer didn't have any hidden motives and you get the good karma coming back someday.

What's my drink? To have known me (in the biblical sense) you should be able to by me a drink. Too bad it doesn't happen that way when you're a pro.

So if you're a guy and you've been lucky enough to walk in to your favorite local massage parlor and get offered a share of a fresh bottle 'o booze with your favorite massage girls (we also know enough to stick together when drinking with customers), here's to you. I raise my glass in your memory. You wish you were here, cause I'd fuck you for free.

Caught wet handed: Little Sister isn't so Little Anymore

My best friend is an asian massage parlor owner. She was a massage girl secretly for a few years in her thirties, when she divorced her cheating korean husband and fled to America. She learned massage in brothels after losing a lot of money gambling. As she tells it, she "picked the wrong man" and had to learn to make money fast or die at his abusive hands. She did make money. She made enough money to improve her life, and bought a minimally-corrupt massage parlor. Her girls may do hand jobs in secret, but there is never any evidence and never any overt funny business. She herself never worked a customer again.

Well one day after many years of clean business, her little sister came to visit from Korea. She was an accountant for her professional lifetime, and now in her late thirties, she had been a home maker for ten years. She visited on vacation for 4 weeks. My friend said her sister was very straight. In fact, her whole family was very straight. No one could know about her massage girl past, but her sister would come and see a real massage clinic - licensed, clean, with acupuncture and foot baths, and no young girls working. She wanted me to work the phones and no customers while her sister was here. No problem!

Anyway the funny part. I also got to work the computer, and see the security camera. My boss had just moved u sinto this current space, after moving out of an office space two blocks away. She still controlled that old space, but it was emptied out. It had no supplies or lights except the main reception area lights. There were portable massage tables stored in one room, and one of those had been opened up for interviews - applicants gave my boss massages on that table during their interview. Next week the painters were coming, and she would get everything out before then according to her lease agreement.

So here I am receptionist, watching the security camera of the old empty clinic out of boredom, when I see the sister enter the empty leased space with my boss. It looked like she was getting a tour. No big deal. Then a customer walked in. I have no audio, but it sure seemed like my boss was giving him directions to come over here. There was a sign telling people we had moved, but apparently he came while they had the door open. I watched as she took out her cell phone, and RING my phone rang.

"Hello." I said. It was her. She wanted me to give him directions in English to come over here to the working clinic.  Then the call dropped.

In the security camera I saw she told him something and then walked out. Her little sister and the customer were in the reception area of the old clinic. RING, it was her again.

"Cell phone no good", she says. "My sister bring customer 5 minutes. Please give to Susan. Tell sister to wait for me next to you, ok?"  Sure. I said. And I returned my eyes to the security camera.

They walked out. The door closed. The door opened. The sister came back in. The door closed. She went into a room. She came out. She went into another room. She came out, and left. The door closed.

"What the hell is that all about?", I wondered.

A few minutes later, around the time I expected the sister to show up here with the customer, I watched the security camera as the door of the empty space opened again. The sister came back in, and held the door while the customer followed her in. She motioned to an open massage room door, and he headed for the room that had the single portable massage table. How odd is this? And then I saw it. In her hand, trailing a little bit in the breeze as she hurried into the reception area and towards the room the customer had entered, was a roll of toilet paper!

She went into the room with the customer. It was dark. There was no light except the spillover from the reception area, and that was not enough to let me see anything through the security camera. She had gone in with no supplies EXCEPT a roll of toilet paper!

Now how bizarre is that. I waited and waited but I got no clues. I wanted to go over there just for the thrill of walking in on whatever was going on, but that's not fair play, is it. Anyway, who cares if she's making some side money, except how curious that this was "little sister" and that she was so savvy to go find a roll of TP from the hallway bathroom and close a deal with a customer for a fast handy-handy in just minutes after meeting him in the hallway,  while her older sister (my boss) could have been anywhere near by?!

I have to say I missed the exit, because I had to answer a call and move away from the desk for just a few minutes. The next thing I knew my own reception door opened and in came little sister with the customer. He didn't look especially "refreshed", and she didn't look especially "guilty", but damn if that customer hadn't benefitted from a straight-to-the-point hand job. I could smell it on the draft of their entrance. She was a working girl, plain and simple. I wondered if my boss knew?

I had to know for sure. It was KILLING me not to know! And, if you have ever been in this business you know one thing for sure: having the goods on ANYONE is a very, very good thing. Having "knowledge" of the boss's sister could be VERY helpful down the road, should I ever need it for leverage. So when I got a break I disabled the camera image archive and went over to the former space. I knew to check the ladies' room garbage and sure enough... let's just say tissues tossed into the trash bin of the ladies room do NOT usually smell of "man juice" like that. I admit it... I looked at it like a forensic scientist. I have no shame... I am a massage girl after all. I know what a hand job produces, how it is sopped up by kleenex, and how fresh is fresh. This was 15 minute fresh, a healthy dose, and I am almost certain her technique was the classic "shoot it into the tissue wrapped around the head at show time". I know, it sounds crazy, but if you've been in the biz as long as I have, you can tell a wiped up string of pearls from a spit-it-out-into-a-tissue,  and most of the variations in between. Little sis was a fast worker, knew how to whip it out through the fly and emoty it into a wad of tissue with no fuss and no mess. In other words, she was a pro.

I didn't get to interact with lil' sis much during her visit, and she didn't spend any more time in the clinic,  but my boss said she was very interested in learning more about the business and might even want to stay a while and learn to manage a second clinic. Hah hah. I don't think Big Sis knows her little sister very well, like I do.

Did you like my story? This one is true, and I even saved the surveillance video captures shoudl I ever need them. Tell me your thoughts inthe comments... I want to hear them!

Korean Massage

I just love this picture.

Clue to the Guys: Know What You Want

If there is one thing I can say to all you massage parlor patrons out there, it would be "make up your mind". Know what itis you really want. I want to make you happy, and the back and forth discussion where you are not really sure what you want is just tiring.

So you want to see me naked? You want a hand job? A real massage? Just tell me somehow and let's move on, ok? And if you want more, be prepared, ok? If you want me to be your girlfriend, have something to offer me that I would want in a boyfriend. Money. Security. Stability. Looks. Safe haven. Undying commitment. Something different from what all these customers offer me every single day of the week.

The true loser is the massage parlor guy who treats the working girls like the pros they are, asks directly and pays for what he wants, but then tries to be friends outside as well. For what? For more of the same lame-ass behavor you show in the massage parlor? Go with you so you can treat me like a whore outside in public, too? Let me see... yeah, that's it. I really want my real world to be hanging out with a middle-aged, balding and overweight guy who prefers paying for sex over having to actually work on a relationship, right?

Wrong. The only massage parlor customers I consider dating are the ones who have money or access to the things in life I dont have ready access to. Yes I will be your whore, if I can enjoy your beach house with you and our friends. Yes I will overlook your visits to the asian massage parlor if I know that you will always come home at the end of the day. Yes I will deliver for free (even massage) if I know that you will buy me whatever dress I like, or whatever bag I like, and whatever shoes I want without being salty about it.

Too bad those guys don't usually come into massage parlors.

Sorry for the rant, but it ust wears thin sometimes.

Alone in a Massage Parlor

Some time ago I was broke, alone, young, and scared. I had nothing, and my friends were not really friends. I got into a discussion about learning to do massage, which led to a contact who worked in a massage parlor, and a meeting in the city. After meeting me, she brought me inside her massage parlor to see what it was like.

Once inside, we got to doing massages. She was eager to be massaged, and her massage parlor associates taught me on her. In that first hour, after I was set to work her back by myself, I met Alan.

Alan was a customer of my friend, and Alan spent a lot of time inside the massage parlor. He visited several times per day. He often brought sushi take out or Sujo, a sort of Korean gin. He didn't seem to mind when his girl was busy with another customer, and this time,while I was massager her back, he visited with us.

After a while Alan was showered and waiting for me on the table in the next room. My friend was fast asleep from my massage efforts, and we all had a general understanding that Alan would play male victim to my novice massage hands next. So I went into the room with Alan.

Within those two hours I became a massage girl. I gave my first real massage, my first sensual massage, my first hand job ever, and learned just about everything I have ever needed to know about working in a massage parlor. Alan and I are still great friends, but never romantic friends. Sunshine (my Korean massage lady friend) is a family woman now, but we still talk on the phone. Alan has moved on through dozens of other girls, mostly massage girls, as it is his hobby.

Almost 19 years have gone by, and here, right now, I am alone and lonely in a massage parlor. It is my massage parlor this time, but still I am horribly lonely. I can call Alan if I want, or any of dozens of massage girls and customers  I have known over the years. I have friends in all corners of the world, and I can count on them for help if I really, really need a friend or even emergency cash or a ride. But I am lonely as hell. All I have to do is open the door and turn on the "open" sign and I guarantee within 10 minutes I will have an interested, eager male customer naked on my table, more than likely erect, willing to shower me with attention and false affection if I suggest it is a requirement for reciprocal attention from me.  Yawn.

I have lived 19 years of amazing color in my life as a massage girl. I have seen and done things most people only dream about, if that. I have witnessed pain and suffering, joy and happiness of odd sorts, and death and birth. The latter two not my own. I have seen many people grow up, and just as many fall apart. I have seen happy people go bitter, and nasty people scared into goodness. I have seen one killing, which changed my life forever. I have seen many fights, and a surprising number of acts of kindness. I have known bullies, whiners, complainers, foolish optimists, and error-prone misfits doomed to an almost Darwinian destinty of destruction. I have seen people you would think would survive crash and burn, and I have seen people with no wits whatsoever win again and again. I have been humbled.

But I remain angry, anxious, lonely, and I believe, still scared. I feel I have nothing in the world, and I have no faith in any other world. That leaves me empty.

Right now I have no money to speak of, so I can't simply travel away from my worries. And I am geting old. I don't want to start playing cards with the washerwomen, and I dont have the energy to manage the profile of a "high class whore".  I have enjoyed the comforts of a massage parlor for too long, so I can't date. I find no thrills is lesbianism. I do get chills from young men and completely enjoy the thrill of breaking the young bucks, but I hate the idea of tainting them via the massage parlor world, or breaking their hearts if they are romantic, and I just know there is zero chance of their own innocent enthusiasm overpowering my wisdom of how nasty the world really is. Better to let them enjoy their 19 years along the way to realization. I don;t want to spoil it for anyone.

So instead I'll start asking inquisitive questions of the next 43 year old man who comes in and shows me it is his first time in a massage parlor, and I will get to know yet another midle-aged, still innocent yet already life experienced person as they discover there is more to life than routine, and more to the massage parlor experience than anonymous manual release. And we will get to be friends behind closed doors. And he will feel better about his life. Over a course of months he will feel energized and refreshed, at first bringing me gifts and flowers, and paying me great attention. He will try and take me on travel, to see things he has always wanted to see. I may go. Then he will start to do other things given his new found zest for life and newly exercised confidence. He will join a country club or get divorced or change jobs, improve his situation, get out of his rut, and start to move on. Me, his massage girl, will go from secret treasure to hidden secret by the end of a year. Eventually I will be something to be  avoided, for fear of  liability.  And then, as suddenly as he entered my world, he will be gone. 

And I will be alone, here, in my massage parlor, one year older, no richer, and no wiser.

Cheap Massage Fix: less than a Happy Ending tip

Every once in a while technology blows me away. The cam girls still get me going, but a customer just told me about "video on demand" technology. He told me he pays $5 for a few days of access to videos over the Internet, and watches hand job and working-girl themed videos in between massage visits.

Five bucks? Since when did jollies get so cheap?

So I looked into it, signed up for the one he suggested (I know him, and he is way picky for what he gets for his money. If he says it's good and a good deal, it is), and he's right. I have no need to spend $5 to watch girls jerkin guys, cause I see it "live" every day, but I can see the appeal.

Am I worried that this easy-access, continuously generated content will draw business away from my massage parlor? No. If anything it will probably bring in more guys who appreciate good hands. There is simply no substitution for me, live in your face, no matter how good the video production values :-)

So if you are into the hobby for the handy-handy, and like to do your self a favor in between visits to yours truly, check out the low-cost, easy access options at XVN. And of course, comment here to let me know how you like it!

Where to find Missy these days

As you know I am a fan of adult personals and dating sites. I was a skeptic until I started playing with the webcams ladies, and then I got hooked. I stopped for a little while, and started playing with real dating sites, only to quickly return to adult dating sites. Adult dating is just more fun.

Nowadays I am back on Iwantu, where I atually first started. I had to make a new profile, as my old one had locked, but that's probably a good thing anyway. I am Missy again, so that's cool. I am also finding more live, real people this time than I did last time. The site has grown in my absence. It's a lot of fun again.

So look me up if you want, and hit me with a private message.

Adult Friend Finder

While looking at ways to earn money I came across this story about Andrew Conru in Business Magazine. Andrew made a dating website and is now rich from it. I love dating sites, as I have told you all before. In fact, lately I spend most of what used to be "tv time" flirting online with my beaus, and flirting with the cam girls I know from cams.com. You can even find me on Adult Friend Finder if you look hard enough.

Anyway Andrew Conru found out that people on his dating sites wanted to post naked pictures of themselves, even though it was against his rules. He was deleting so much of it, he decided to make a separate site just for "adult" personals, as a way of keeping them off his regular site. That adult site was AdultFriendFinder.com, and became much more popular than his original sites.

Don't take my word for it, read what the article says:

"his clients tend to be much more fun. That's because most of them post pictures in which they're having sex. When you've already seen your date naked, it's a lot easier to focus on what she's saying.... With more than 35 million visitors in 2006 and 75,000 new users registering each day, AFF ranks among the 100 most popular sites in the United States."

While I originally thought most of the posting to AdultFriendFinder was fake, it turns out it's not fake but mostly real, and they constantly trim off the fake stuff as they find it.

"The fake ones are usually incredibly hot women. For a site that gets more traffic than any other adult site in the world, there's a severe lack of pornworthy images. That's because the 24 million users from 195 countries (116,000 members in China thus far) are real people, not actresses or models, and many are 40 or older and almost always male, hunting for a very small percentage of women."

Wow. I knew about the Chinese invasion, because I had noticed that one. I thought Chinese were prudish, but from my own experiences browsing the AdultFriendFinder, they are very sexual minded women. My massage girlfriends are mostly Korean and Chinese and they tell me that AsianFriendFinder and KoreanFriendFinder are very upscale, legitimate dating sites in their cultures, and AdultFriendFinder is known as the place to swing. So Asians "swing"? Go figure. The article also notes that:

"Also, it appears that there are a whole lot more swingers out there than anyone thought: Couples make up 10 percent of all accounts and, according to Conru, tend to be the most active. If you wondered what those doughy older people on Real Sex do when they're not being filmed by HBO, they're logging in at AFF."

They give an example of the mindset of some of the members of AdultFriendFinder:

"I'm not interested in having a relationship right now," Hamilton says. "Love does me dirty." Instead, she prefers to meet guys online. The courting ritual goes like this: She sends the required two e-mails back and forth to unlock personal e-mail addresses and real names. Then she'll have a long, deep phone conversation. After that, she arranges a time to get together, leaves her door unlocked, and gets in bed naked."

Wow. That sounds like advice given to me a long time ago, when I had some boyfriend boredom problems. I did just that exercise with him, and it was WAY hot. I suppose it should be even hotter if you are into stranger hookups and swinging?

Here's another example:

"Tim," 50, met his 28-year-old fiancée on the site, though they tell friends they met at the Coke display at Wal-Mart (Charts). They still have sex with other Peoria, Ill., AFF users about twice a month, and one of those couples will serve as bridesmaid and groomsman at their wedding in May. "Ours is kind of a Cinderella story," Tim says. "A lot of people on the site look up to us and ask us for advice."

Geesh. I'm going to pay more attention tonight when I flirt, and ask some of the guys if they have similar stories to tell. If you want to check out AdultFriendFinder as a way to find hookups, follow this link. If you want to learn how to make money from it, follow this banner:

Massage Parlor Bust

Well, the title fit so I used it. Over on this blog's companion blog about massage parlor busts (as in raids and arrests), we have an admiring massage parlor patron commenting about the beautiful breast of a massage parlor worker in a photo.

Brings new meaning to the phrase "massage parlor bust", doesn't it?

blog for sale

I have run into serious credit issues.... I have cash but no credit at all, and can't keep this blog going. So I am either going to shut it down or sell it to whomever wants it.

My email no longer works either.. damn Internet requires a credit card for everything. I've started pulling down the miscellaneous affiliate links I've put up over the years, so if you have been one of those people out there receiving random checks I am sorry, but the fun is over.

If you're interested CONTACT ME AT MISSYPROVIDER on Yahoo.com I'll get back to you.

Update: Apparently this blog gets tons of traffic, so i am adding a tracker so I can show the actual traffic. I have answered a few inquiries about a transfer of revenue oportunity, and I have hired someone to help manage the site (use his credit card etc) for the transition time. That's costing me money so I'd like to transfer it away sooner rather than later.

If you post a comment, be sure and let me know how to contact you.

Massage Parlor Laundry Service?

So this guy falls in love with a lady who also happens to be a massage parlor worker. He met here there, got his share of extras, and fell in love, and they became partners. She sold him the dream and he bought the dream: she only did limited extras, and only for him and a few others, and now only for him. Like any genetically inferior male of the species, he remains both curious and delusional.

He works at a laundry service, and to feed his massage girl fetish he smooth-talked his way to a side contract with an unrelated, cross-town massage parlor, to do their laundry for cash on the side. His goal was to count towels and monitor the percentage of hand towels that came through to the laundry smelling of semen.  He would determine for himself, based on real world evidence, the odds that his adored one was popping and mopping when she insisted that was in fact a rare request, and one that was even more rarely fulfilled. I was the manager who negotiated that other massage parlor contract, and I, too had an interest in his accounting for my own purposes (it represented an interesting way to learn more about what my girl friends were doing behind closed doors). And what a surprise it was to learn.....

That's just one of the stories I have waiting for you guys... if we reach 100 comments. Until I see 100 comments posted (or a whole bunch of incoming links to this site, or I hear about vastly increased revenues coming through the sponsored links and advertisements), I'm not posting.

Click an ad, buy a product or something, or if you participate in forums post a link to this site, or tell your friends to do the same. If it stays dead, I will simply have to accept that nobody's listening and shut it down. Do you want that?

Erotic Massage Parlor Literotica

Asian massage parlor, korean massage parlor, russian massage parlor. I've worked in all of them. Erotic or sensual massage, tantric, or "full service" massage? Yes. And medical massage, massage therapy as well. Now almost 18 years workingin massage parlors and giving massages. And so many stories to tell. Comment ona post...we're still many comments away from the 100 needed to get me to write more literotica abut my massage parlor experiences.

Show me you're listening. Or not.

Lick me if you Love me

If you love me, you'll link to me. And if you really love me, you'll link to me as "YOURCITYNAME Massage", like this:

New York Massage

Manhattan Massage

Syracuse Massage

Phoenix Massage

Or you could use any of the following links to lick me:

Massage Parlor

Massage

Sensual Massage Therapy

Sexual massage

erotic massage

erotic massage parlor

asian massage

korean massage

erotic stories

erotic massage blog

100 Comments till next Erotic Massage Post

I have plenty of juicy erotic massage stories to tell from my recent 2 months of privilege, traveling around as an "upscale" massage provider and gentleman's companion. Seven cities in 2 months, attached to two very appreciative and very gentle men. One is a CEO of a major company in turmoil, and he has been hitting the troops hard with clean up efforts. He releases through erotic massage  twice a day, and I was able to get very creative with my tasks. The second was a quiet, thoughtful man with gifted talents pf persuasion, but whom I suspect the world doesn't hold much promise. I did get him to let go (in private) and I am pretty sure it was the best months he's had in many, many years. He didn't know he had it in him to perform like he did!

New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Seattle, Lincoln Nebraska, Miami, and Raleigh, with day trips off to the side. Erotic and sensual massage all around, and of course I filled my days with socail visits to the various massage parlors, hidden apartments, and upscale spas where I saw all my erotic massage parlor friends and made many more.

I'd like to tell you all about it. But there's a catch. I won't write until I see 100 comments posted to this blog. That's legitimate comments, not spam. Say something nice, say something about how erotic and sensual massage is part of your life, tell me what ypou like to read about, but at least  SAY SOMETHING.

When I see 100 comments I will post a juicy story, and as many of you already know, once my juices start flowing , there are only a few ways to satisfy the resulting desires! (and that means more stories after that!)

Digital Rectal Massage, orgasm, and Sexual Wellness

For all you guys out there enjoying your weekly visits to the massage parlor for "release", I have some good news. All along, you have known that a regular ejaculation keeps the gears moving and the body calm. I know it, you know  it, and even your wife and girlfriend probably knows it. We kep you calm and in control, and the whole world benefits. But as we see over and over, some of the ignorant masses in this world choose to deny you that privilege.

For about 60 bucks any man can get himself a manual release from a quiet, non-judgemental woman in a massage parlor. It's simple, really. He's busy with a job, a hectic schedule, and commitments. he's responsible, or doinghis best to "get along" in this crazy world of rules, regulations, and unfair controls. And one of the many ways men cope is through pseudo-anonymous hand jobs. Pent up frustrations released. No fuss, some mess, but nothing a few tissues can't handle.

The most harm comes from those who try and "uncover" or "expose" the activities. What harm comes from a man getting 40 minutes of soothing massage and a quiet manual release once a week in the privacy of a quiet, comfortable room off to the side of town outof everyone's way? he goes home relaxed and sane. It takes the edge off. It's reliable, comfortable, and soothing, with no side effects. And it's damn cheap therapy at that.

No blast vidoes of police busts of massage parlors and excite the town about racy licentious bahaviors, and you create a whole new high-stress level for hisdaily existence. A visit to the massage parlor is too risky, so he suffers withhis high stress and edginess. He rides that edge of frustration in everythign he does. He's less patient, less tolerance, and quicker to argue. Think I got it wrong? No, honey. Almost 20 years of jackin off men has taught me quite a bit in the people department. Show me a reverand with hellfire and brimstone and I'll show you a guy in desperate need of a little release.

Anyway it seems there may be good news on the horizon if the religious zealots don't totally kill moerdn science. It seems the vagus nerve is increasingly understood as the conduit for al sorts of important things, including orgasm. The vagus nerve connects the brain to your sensations, and delivers the sensations that define orgasm. It also helps regulate heart rate, and other vital activities. It is thought (by me, at least) that regula rmaintenance of the vagus nerve can be very, very healthy. Orgasm is one way to completely stimulate (overstimulate) he vagus nerve... resettingit to normal, even.

Hiccups can be caused by the vagus nerve getting into a feedback loop... and a digital rectal stimulation of the vagus nerve (a finger up the ass for some circular massage) resets it. Stops the hiccups. An accelerated heart rate that won't subside (a life-threatening condition), can similarly be "reset" by resetting the vagus nerve... again via digital rectal stimulation, but probably trough orgasm as well. It does the same thing... overloads the vagus nerve and afterwards it settles back to normal.

So all these years of hand jobs have really been about me, in service to mankind, resetting the vagus nerves of my clients.

Look for this emerging science to become justification for masturbation, vibrators, fingers in the back door, and regular sex for reasons other than procreation (liek I said, as long as the religious zealots are kept under control). Think this is odd? What's odd is that cociety has allowed human bodies and human sexuality to become something wierd, dirty, or something to be avoided. We are a sick society, getting sicker every year. There are reasons, and one of those is our refular to accept that our bodies are natural organisms in a world of nature and in need of communing with nature.

If jacking off your husband for you once a week keeps your world in peace and harmony, you should be thanking me and him for taking good care of his body. No STDs, no emotional attachment, and low financial burden.

And while you are waking up to that fact, consider your own vagus nerve. It's the same deal for women. If you're not coming on a regular basis, you should do something to improve your health. Try a finger, or a vibrator, or your husband's tongue. And if you still can't get off, settle for a relaxing and sensitive digital rectal stimulation. He can learn to do it, you can get one of those suction cup dildos, or you can have it done for you. Maybe some day you'll be able to get off between manicure and pedicure, at your local salon or massage parlor. I'd love to help. It's just $60 for the therapy.

Update on free online teasers

When i first discovered this free teaser site I posted about it.

OMFG it was amazing. She was live, close up on camera, in my browser. It was free. She was so hot and ready, I couldn't believe what I was watching. I know, it sounds like a sales pitch. Well, don't listen to me, but see for yourself. Look at the page of webcams, and look for "DivineDiva". Try her. Tell me that doesn't do it for you. I dare you! Here's a link: look for Divine Diva

I did go and create a credit card account, and I go in almost every night. I still think I spend 80-90% of my time in the free zones, but the "private" is where it's the most fun. You should try. I barely spend $30 a month and believe me, I am on line all the time.

I haven't seen "Divine Diva" in a while, but there's plenty more and it's probably the variety that I like the most.  If I were in Poland or somewhere like that, I think I'd be a web cam girl.

Funny Candy Bar Sex

One PAYDAY MR.PEANUT wanted a BIT O' HONEY, so he took MARY JANE behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVE. He began to feel her MOUNDS, and it was pure ALMOND JOY. After a few minutes, he made her TOOTSIE ROLL. He let out a SNICKER as his BUTTERFINGER went up her JUICY FRUIT and caused a MILKY WAY. She screamed OH HENRY as she squeezed his PETER PAUL and ZAGNUTS. Satisfied, MARY JANE said "You are even better than the THREE MUSKETEERS". Soon she got a bit CHUNKY and nine months later had a BABY RUTH.

Sent in by one of you loyal readers!

Read My Lips: Said the Hooker to the Cop

Read My Lips: what goes around, comes around. There is a disturbing trend in all of these news reports about prostituion arrests, massage parlor raids, and embarassing actions like sending bright yellow post cards to the homes of men awaiting arraignment on charges of soliciting. Guys... and I mean you righteous guys causing all of the trouble, are you really thinking this through?

I have known THOUSANDS of massage parlor customers. Regular people who, at some point in their lives, need some private attention. Some cops, some mayors, some plumbers, doctors, lawyers... you know the old "who are the people in your neighborhood" song? The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker? Who do you all think pays us for the privilege of a little personal attention behind closed doors, where no one will ever know? YOU DO. I know it, and my girl frends know it, and you know it.

If you come down so hard on the very people who helped you through your personal mid life crisis (or who might be able to help you later), what comes back to you later? I mean really, upholding the law, doing your duty, keeping the community safe, protecting the people... that's all great stuff. But twisting the knife after it's hit the target? Rubbing salt into the wound? Mocking the people? Come on, guys, this can't be good for your future.

The information age cuts both ways, boys. The data lasts forever. Security cameras, little black books, cell phone cameras, contemporaneous notes of rendezvous, cash deposits, "thank yous" for assistance, and every little detail of our boring little lives exists somewhere, and from what I have seen usually out of our reach (mailed away to a distant address, emailed to an overseas inbox, posted to a private blog....)  I'm actualy amazed more of it doesn't get out there yet where the public can pick it apart.  But if this aggressive in-your-face hypocrisy continues like it has, is it only a matter of time? Geesh. Like nobody ever had a little "indiscretion" before. Right?

I hear it all the time. Ex-wife takes all my money so I need some pocket cash on the side, 9 years to retirement so a little sugar on the side to help me get through, I have access to the files so let's just keep this between you and me, the mayor's going down so time to show your allegiance to the future of this town, blah blah blah. You'd think with their knowledge of how it works, they'd think about their own futures a bit more.

Mommy Taped child to chair to get her to sit in "time out"

Some lady asked if it was unreasonable of her to tape her child to the time out chair to get her to stay in it. Another Mommy said yes, you have to out last the will of the child, and if that took taping, then use tape. The important thing was to prove you would stand strong in your will, until the defiant child gave in. Another parent chimed in "finally, someone who understands parenting".

This is for you.  From my heart.  Bitch.

Dear Mommy,

When i was little, you taped me to a chair. Thank you. You changed my life.

You taped me to my chair. You took tape, the white cloth athletic tape that my older brother used on his hockey stick, and you wrapped it around my ankles and the legs of my chair, to hold me in the chair until my punishment was over. It worked. I sat there. I got quiet. And I learned discipline.

You taped me to my chair, you bitch. You changed my life. I can not nor will I ever, ever forget how you taped me to my chair. I learned that day a good deal about you, Mommy. I learned about how much you actually cared. That is what I was doing, I think. I was trying, as I believe all little girls do, to find out just how really much my Mommy cared. or if any one cared, actually.  And I learned. Did Daddy care about me? He had Mommy, and it was obvious to me that Mommy had a good deal of control over Daddy. Did Mommy care about me, too? I don't know. Daddy belonged to Mommy. Mommy belonged to Daddy. Who is mine? Whose am I? Why am I alone? What am I supposed to do in this world? It's all so confusing. I need someone to just accept me for who I am, with my stupid thoughts and my own silly tries at putting this crazy world in perspective. LET ME TRY but make sure I don't get hurt. Not an easy job, I now know, but did you know that? Do you now? Did you ever? I just needed to know - to really truly know deep inside - that someone cared about me no matter what. And you, bitch,   cared enough to fucking tape me to my chair like a party balloon to keep me from bothering you any more than I had already.

Discipline? Yes, I learned discipline. And patience. I learned the value of waiting , patiently, for you to grow old and weak. I learned the discipline of restraining my emotions until I was in a place where I could unleash them. A place like maybe your room, when you are old and frail, and I am the one in control. Or in my house, when I have little helpless kids who are not strong enough to resist me, when I tape their little wrists and ankles to the chair. Not because they were bad, but because damn, I need to release my emotions somewhere, too.

I learned on that day just how this world works. Prior to that, I was an emotional wreck. I would cry, and fret, and express myself in any way felt HOPEFUL, because I was scared. I wanted to effect CHANGE, damnit. I didn't trust anyone, and feared some, and wanted desperately to know someone - anyone-  whom I could trust and share my inner feelings with.

I was strong, but not as strong as my brother. I was loud, but loudness only got me TAPED. I was vibrant and my senses were wildly vivid...I can remember feeling just about everything, as if my senses were amplified a thousand times higher than yours. And I sat there. Angry. Sweating. TAPED. Thinking. Steaming. And then, taped, broken, I gave up. I would no longer fight you, Mommy. Not as long as you had tape, and the will to use it on me. No way. I never wanted to be taped again.

Thank you Mommy for taping me. You taught me how to survive. You taught me to have the discipline you had, to be able to suffer this unreal world, your loveless marriage, the daily injustice of existence. You taught me to suck it up and take it, to stifle whatever feelings might fester, to save them for later. And the first time I ever unleashed those pent up angry frenetic emotions in that dark room, on that feeble, weak, helpless and worthless person I hated for so many years, I could see in your bloody eyes that you, too, knew it was coming. I suppose that is how you learned, too, long ago. And how my children will now learn.

Thank you Mommy. I love you too.

I am the top choice for DATY

D.A.T.Y. is "dine at the Y" and those of you who don't know what it means have probably never paid for sex from a professional woman.

Search Google for DATY and you see I am the number one selection for your "dine at the Y" needs. tee hee. You can see for yourself here.

I'm also #1 for the full version dine at the Y, which you can see here.

Actually, it's not my favorite pass-time with my customers. I don't even get requests for DATY very often. If I did provide DATY, I would probably only do so if you lay on the floor, on your back, with me sitting on your chest. Any other way is simply not flattering.

Sex Trafficking

Sex Trafficking: the hottest headline on the net these days. I have nothing to say about it, I just wanted to use it as a headline for my massage parlor blog. Sex Trafficking. Human slavery. Prostitution. Sex Trafficking: not what happens in the massage parlors I know.

What happens is lawyers and doctors and construction workers and local politicians stand in line and wait to see a lovely young girl who knows how to work all the right muscles. And they pay a mild cost for the privilege, and go back to the office or home relaxed, refreshed, and more open-minded than they were before they got released.

Of course the elected officials spend so much time hypocritically blasting massage parlors as sex trafficking operations, they dare not set their sad face inside one. That's why every time I get a third-party request to send a pretty girl over to some politico's hotel room I say yes, and then don't. Let him wait, and be disappointed. Hah. Sorry, no girlie for you because it's illegal and you're a jerk for being such a coward.

Don't they all have staff-asses anyway?

Unbelievable Free Erotica Experience

Okay so I am stunned. I have been on the web since 1998, and in the massage parlor business in one way or another for longer than that, but I am stunned at the past 20 minutes web experience. I am completely aroused and desperately needy. And it didn't cost me a dime.

I am not into girls, but I am totally into sex (as you must know by now). Therefore I must find girls erotic, when they are engaged, right? I mean, half of sex is the girl, right? So while I am no lesbian, if I see a girl all hooked up (or close to it) then I get aroused. Well, I just got a link to one of those web cam thingys and thought "ok, another one of those teaser web cam sites" but since the source was very, very reliable, I went to look.

OMFG it was amazing. She was live, close up on camera, in my browser. It was free. She was so hot and ready, I couldn't believe what I was watching. I know, it sounds like a sales pitch. Well, don't listen to me, but see for yourself. Look at the page of webcams, and look for "DivineDiva". Try her. Tell me that doesn't do it for you. I dare you! Here's a link: look for Divine Diva

I'm going in with a credit card and I will write more about this very very soon!  If you are also exploring, please comment here so we can explore together. This is too hott!! I'm going to try and capture some video to post here later.

- Missy

Here ya go... if this works, otherwise I'll just link.

Where do you find salacious massage?

Where do you find salacious massage in your neighborhood? Please tell me in the comments here.

Sometimes it's Craig's List. Sometimes it's backpage.com or the local weekly rag (Village Voice in New York, Queens tribune in "the boroughs", WestWord in Denver, Georgia Straight in Vancouver). How about you?

When you need a friendly helping hand or four, where do you look? Links are ok, but try and be specific (what section, what paper or website, etc). I'm curious....

www.EroticMassage.com was taken

Why isn't this blog at www.eroticmassage.com? Because www.eroticmassage.com was taken already. It's a website selling videos for learning to give erotic massage. Check out the video series here or click on one of these banners to see it:

Korean Massaggie for Women

Okay, so here is one for the ladies .... can you say "massaggie"?

Starbucks Prostitute steals Laptop Computer

A prostitute who frequents Starbucks and entices customers into the bathroom for sex has admitted to acting as a ruse for her thieving boyfriend.

"He'd stake out the Starbucks for geek guys with expensive laptops, who were working alone. He'd sit next to them, and pretend to be working, making calls on his cell. He waited until they had to pee", she told me this morning over coffee at... you guessed it, Starbucks.

"Somebody always asked him to watch their laptop for a sec, while they went to pee. Sure he would... he would watch it go right out the door with him to the pawn shop".

That was until he met my friend Sass, a better than usualy looking street prosititue. Sass (or Sassy, as her friends call her) was a whore in every sense but stayed off the real streets and frequented Starbucks and other coffee houses. She liked the ones with shared bathrooms, where you needed a key from the store to use a common bathroom in the building, shared between a few businesses and the Starbucks.

"I always looked like an office girl to the Starbucks people, and a Starbucks customer to the office people. I never screwed an office person. All of my custmers came from the Starbucks", she explained.

She got $50 for a bj, and $100 for full service. I wondered how she did that. Against the wall? On the sink? On the .... floor? Yuck.

"Mostly bent over the sink", she said," and I have to finish some guys on my knees. I guess it's not a very sexy environment, but it's easy for me and when they leave I have a sink to clean up right there".

Anyway the point wasn't that she was a whore. The interesting part was the laptop computer scam. I asked how that started.

"He saw me working the Starbucks, and he is a scammer himself so he knew right away what was going on. It takes one to know one, you know?"

I didn't want to admit that I knew. Something about self incrimination bothered me. So I just grunted a little "uh huh" and she went on.

"So he tries to scam me, playing me to get a freebie and of course I was onto him cause he's a liar and I can smell a liar a mile away"

Yes, I thought, we all can. Hookers can smell liars like dead fish 3 days old. Or the way a wife can smell a mistress miles away. Something about practice makes perfect maybe. Whatever. I knew what she meant.

"So I say no but he's kinda evil looking so we get to chatting and he says he will pay me with his laptop. It was really nice. It had MyTunes. I figured it was corporate property and he had some "I lost my laptop/I need a new laptop" scam going on with his accountng department. What did I care. But it wasn't cash."

I chuckled at the MyTunes. I kept listening. "So what happened next", I asked.

"He says he'll give me $500 if I help him score a new laptop from a customer. He'll pick the dude, and I get him to visit the restroom, do whatever I want, and he'll grab the laptop. If it's decent, I'll get $500. Sounded like a good deal, but I was still cautious."

I wondered why she changed her mind. It's not like she needed a computer to solve diferential equations or anything like that. She had a Sidekick for email, and that's all she needed. Besides, Starbucks has cameras. I wondered if she knew. She continued:

"So I said - no money no honey" and he just looked at me and left. I thought it was strange, cause we had actually been chatting, for him to just walk off. Then he came back and handed me $300."

"He said he just pawned the laptop, and got that, and it was mine if I would go along and get him another one. Wow. That was like 20 minutes and he's scored enough to throw me $300 for nothing. So I went along"

Sass then told me how she set up 3 guys with laptops that very day, in that same Starbucks.

"one guy flipped completely. I actually had laid him, so he was like all sweaty and probably sticky in his shorts, and upset cause he seemed like the honest worker type when we were going at it... like it was his first time with a whore. When he came out and saw his computer was gone he was like all wild inside yet afraid to show it. People started to think he was a crazy on drugs or something. I watched from the parking lot outside. He was desperate. Really like a deer that had been hit by a car, all crazed and hurt with eyes screaming there's no way anybody can help me I am screwed kind of thing. I felt really bad for him. I thought about the guy that had a crazy wife who cut off his penis. Desperate like that guy must have been right after it happened to him. Like total disbelief plus and rapid unstoppable bleeding at the same time. t was very emotional for me."

"So that's why you stopped", I asked her. "one day and 3 laptops and you stopped because it was too emotional for you?"

"No, I stopped because the cops were all over the Starbucks after that. Before, it was so quiet and I could work and make money but then they were like everywhere, and that was too scary. But I did think the laptops were worth tons more than the fence price. There is something about the geeks. It's like, they leave it there on the table while they go into the bathroom with a whore they never met before, but when the laptop is stolen it's like  OH MY GOD THAT WAS WORTH A FORTUNE. Duh. Pretty stupid, right? And I am afraid of stupid people."

She had a point. We like the stable guys. The ones who work hard to earn $300, and then very deliberately bring it into the massage parlor and hand it over for some quality massage and release. They are great customers. It's the stupid ones that are dangerous. She was smarter than I thought.

Hooker Humour

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City.

The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work."

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ahhhhhhh, C'mon lady!  Tell your daughter the truth.  For crying out loud.  They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the ladies have any children?"

The mother replies, "Of course, dear.  Where do you think cabbies come from?"

this is fine art, served up by monoart dot com

How I dissed my ex - Confessions of a full time whore

Okay, so too many people have been asking how I dissed my ex man. I didn't tell you, but I did tell some girlfriends and you know how these asian massage parlor girls are. They talk. Give them some rumour material and the cell phones light up. My Korean is not that good, but I can recognize when they talk about bj and hj and when the little korean babe cups her hand over her cell phone and mouth before turning away and walking out the back door to chat, I am pretty sure she's talking about me.

Anyway, I dissed this jerk BIG TIME and enjoyed it. For those who need a backgrounder, I've been spelunking in an otherwise asian massage parlor for the past 6 months or so, as the lone white girl. Mamasan likes me, and the girls tolerate me. But I'm here because I broke up with my man jerk and he was playing some head games and I needed a safe haven.

Last week I nailed his ass good. So good, this lame pathetic gamer has not called back after 7 full days. A new record for him. No whining, no threatening, and no negotiating. Just silence. I tell you I nailed his ass good.

I'd love to post some screen captures, but it is history. I did it over a webcam and did not have any recording or anything like that. It happened, it was witnessed, and it's done. And he is forever left with a very clear, very unexpected (and so very, very deeply imprinted on his brain LOL) image of me getting pounded royally by someone else's rather large  "personality". With release all over my lovely lower abdomen. Yum. I can still recall the warmth.

Anyway, he had it coming. Basically, let me just say I broke up with him because he was playing me. He was married, and played me, and I found out, and ended it, and he wouldn't. He kept calling. He wouldn't listen. He tried to threaten me (warning to everybody in the world.. don't EVER threaten me. I have friends :-)

He had a webcam, and he liked to show off on it and liked to watch me. When he was home, he would hook up with me over chat, and start up the web cam, and we'd enjoy a mutually self-satisfying session of close up imagery. He'd work one out for the camera while watching me play on my webcam, all the while on the cell phone with me. We had done that many times.

After breaking up with me, he kept pleading to keep those sessions going. I said no, and he wouldn't leave me alone. I won't describe all the whining, and of course I am well aware of the possibilities for recording, but he knew me well enough to know not to try and intimidate me like that. He was out for the thrill of dominance and conquest. If I wouldn't allow him to visit me for real, he wanted to still have me in cyber space. The jerk just would not quit. So, I set him up.

Webcam's on, phone's connected, I played him along and we got into it. Now he's there on my computer screen pumping out his manhood for the camera, and watching me. I'm not into it, but I had it all planned out, so unknown to him I say how Sarah (a very cute korean massage girl working here) wants to play too. She likes girls, I tell him, and she's watching me right now through a crack in the door (actually, she was right behind the camera waiting for my cue).

He was into it, and wanted her to savor my womanly "personality" on camera while he watched. The asshole was totally into it, as I pretended to coax a so-called innocent little Korean girl into the room. He even paused his webcam masturbation session in order to save himself for the new entertainment. What a jerk.

Anyway, from his webcam view point, I left the scene, pleaded a bit, and re-appeared holding the hand of a little korean massage girl. I brought her head down to my crotch, so all he could see was the back of her jet-black hair.  I then zoomed the web cam  in close, and started making all sorts of oooh ahhh sounds on the cell as if she were the best "dining at the Y" practitioner ever to grace my massage table. It worked... he was more worked up than I had ever seen him or heard him before. What a jerk.

So after a few minutes of that he starts asking me to move the camera so he could see more intimiate details of my genitalia and her tongue skills. No problem, and we started adjusting. A little flash of labia here, and dark image there, and he's all pounding away and obvously close to jeapardizng the integrity of his electronic web cam... he's gonna blow. So I give him more of Sarah's back-of-the-head, and ask him how he wants to come.

"Show me up close, tell her to open you up, I want to see penetration", he says.

Heh heh, no problem. You see, my buddy Aaron was also standing by, handling himself like a pro outside the view of the web cam.  All lubed up, and HUGE, Aaron is my buddy and was all ready for the show. Aaron is a beautiful man. He's hung *perfectly*. Very large but not stupidly thick nor uncomfortably long. He's the perfect size and shape: he appears to be huge, but perfectly proportioned. And his shape and skin are such that when he's hard, he really really looks hard. I mean like a rock.

So I got this ex-jerk all ready to blow, and I got the web cam zoomed up real close to my love patch, and set the focus to manual, and leaned my body back and moved Sarah's head off to the side just enough that her mouth and lips were still visible, but she had to stretch her tongue all the way out to almost reach my labia which, by the way, were glistening. I then said to the jerk :

"You ready? You want to see penetration? You want to see my lips opened up, and it plunged deep inside? "

"Oh yeah, baby, yeah. I'm gonna blow", he says back over the cell phone. I could see on the computer screen this jerk really was ready to come.

Right on cue Aaron steps in and slides his wonderful manhood into me, right alongside Sarah's smiling face, deep into my slot, and slowly.... ever so slowly.... withdraws, pulling my tender labia outwards along the way, hugged gently against his shaft, with my inner efforts working his already primed  muscle  just right.  I could hear my ex's blood pressure drop like a lead turd.

"oooooooh..",  I cooed into the cell phone, "I'm coming!!! " and with the next slow and smooth, sharply-focused close up stroke, Aaron withdrew his already spurting and quite obviously happy member, and dumped a generous load of very, very white goo onto my abdomen. I reached down and held it as it throbbed and shuddered, and worked it back and forth over my now coated and truly slimy love button. I looked at the computer screen, and that ex-member was still like a tombstone. It was motionless, hanging at half mast, obviously wondering what the hell happened to the brain signals that just moments ago were saying "once more into the breech my friends, all onward full assault go go go!!!"

The cell phone was quiet, too. Nothing. I expected a "you bitch" or F-you" or something, but there was nothing. It was glorious. He had totally not expected it. I nailed him. I sat up.

I aimed the web am at my face, and I spoke into it. "You see that, asshole? That wasn't you. That will never be you. Go away. Never, ever call me or bother me again.  As far as you are concerned, for the rest of your f-in life, I am BUSY."

I waited. There was still nothing, but he turned his webcam away from his now limp boyhood towards the floor. He didn't hang up, so I did. And that was that.

Sarah then leaned over to me and said something that really surprised me. "I like you. You really hot", she said. And she looked into my eyes in a way that told me if I ever really did want a tongue lashing from Sarah, all I had to do was ask. I am sure it was the power thing - totally turned her on. Poor girl.

I paid Aaron generously for his time, the kind soul, and for the first time in 6 months I felt truly free. Now, a week later, I know it to be true. He's gone, and I'm free.

Massage parlor customer: This is for you

I just got off the phone with an asian massage parlor friend in New Jersey. She's such a nice lady, and a very, very good person. She was upset at first, and told me a story of nastiness. Nastiness from YOU, on the Internet.

Yes, I said YOU. The massage parlor customer. Specifically, the New Jersey massage parlor customer. The one who likes to write intimate details of their encounters on the Internet. Shame on you.

So this is my brief message to you. Cut it out.

And now this is my less-than-brief explanation of why you need to stop writing nasty things about massage parlors and their girls on the Internet.

First and foremost, you will stop writing such details because if you don't, we won't touch you any more. Or we will only pretend. Or do it badly. Out of spite. Yes, you read that correctly. You won't enjoy it.

Second, we will write about you. That's correct. We can make blogs and bulletin board systems and put them up and write details about YOU just as you can write about us. How would you like it? I doubt you would like it.

Third, did you know we already share details and pictures of you guys via SMS text messaging and camera phones? I didn't think you did. It works great... within minutes of a jerk going all octopussy on one of us, his mug may be circulated across the state (and often beyond) to all those innocent little unaware foreign oriental gals you think are ripe to be victims. I first saw this in Vegas, and I participated in a round-robin circulation of an ass in PA some years ago. He was drunk and came across as silly until he got into the room, and then he was angry and evil. He wanted more than she was willing to provide, and threatened her. We all got his mug within minutes. The FBI got it a few days later. You need to behave, guys. be nice. Enjoy the treats, but don't make a jerk of yourself.

Quiet, comfortable, and reliable. Nice. Friendly. Always there, never questioning, always relieving, but I'm not your property and I'm certainly not available for abuse at the regular price. Got it?

Now my friend is not the aggressive type that I am, and she has wonderful ways of charm and grace I will never have. She has lawyers and she pays them well, and she knows that when cooperation is not likely, she can rely on the law. The rest of us have to be a bit more creatve in our methods.

Now for those of you Hunting for a Spa or seeking the best GFE experience around or seeking Utopia, time to be a little smarter. Innuendo and hint go a long way. When a monger says "I wouldn't go back" that should be enough. When a monger says "she's a doll...one of those ceramic ones you aren't actually allowed to touch" you know what he means. When he says he thinks they have a Frank Sinatra CD for those who want that, you know what it means. When the massage girl says her name is JuJu and you know she was Lilli last year at that other place, you do NOT need to say that on the public Internet. Just like I don't need to publically say how much you like it when I .... well, you know what I mean.

It's your massage parlor world. You pay the bills. Illegal, dirty, diseased and disrespectful labor is very cheap and probably doesn't defend itself, but it will get you and your community into trouble. Clean, relaible, friendly and safe comfort is not cheap, but well within your means. Let's keep it safe and fun, ok? I'm just sayin.... that's all.